Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
