drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it glows. i had to have it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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