yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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