So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
did i just pee glitter
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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