So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
