I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize