One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
