Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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