my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
