K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
