You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
