Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
