my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize