Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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