is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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