I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
