How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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