Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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