just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
