so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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