We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
