yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
