mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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