i barfeds in our rink
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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