I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
