I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
