youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
