whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
