Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
