end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
