i just wanna soil my oats bro
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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