He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
