I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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