My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i've created a new STD.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
