I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he laminated a picture of his dick.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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