ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
