Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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