We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
