Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
