If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
