Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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