Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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