Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
