theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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