If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
