Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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