I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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