bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
