her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
