Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
