The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We need to rekindle our bromance
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
