somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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