Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
