$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
