I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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