Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
