You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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