i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
