apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
