Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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