I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
