If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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