That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
