Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize