I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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